On my second day of volunteering at an Mlimani Orphanage-school in Tanzania, I took pictures of the school and the students with the intention of creating a website for the school, and ultimately raising money for them. Each time I walked into a new classroom all of the students shifted their eyes from the teacher to me, and all learning ceased. Not only are African children intrigued and fascinated by white people, they are even more intrigued by cameras. I took a few pictures in each classroom, asked the kids to smile, apologized to the teacher, and moved on to the next classroom. The fifth classroom was empty, except for two teachers grading papers and talking. I walked in and smiled at the both of them. One of them smiled back, the other shyly looked away and avoided my gaze. As I walked around the classroom taking pictures, the more outgoing woman looked at me with judging eyes. I had seen those eyes from African women before, she was judging my mating and hunting ability. Finally, just as I was finishing up my last pictures, she spoke to me.
Outgoing Teacher: Where are you from?
Donny: USA
Outgoing Teacher: Where in USA?
Donny: California.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhhh. (Every time she said Ohh or Hmm, she tilted her head back slowly) You have wives?
Donny: No.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. How many children you have?
Donny: None that I’m aware of. (She was unphased by that statement)
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh.... Why you don’t have children?
Donny: Because I pull out.
Outgoing Teacher: What is this?
Donny: Never mind. I just don’t want children yet.
Outgoing Teacher: Really? (She tilted her head to the side) How old you are?
Donny: Guess.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmmm. 25?
Donny: Nope. 30.
Outgoing Teacher: 30!? Why you don’t have wife? Why no children?
Donny: I don’t want one yet.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. (She crossed her arms and nodded with a smirk, as if she was proud of herself for figuring me out) You like men?
Donny: Hahahahahahaha. No, no, no. I like women.
Outgoing Teacher: Then why you don’t have wife.
Donny: I can’t afford one.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhh. What you do for work?
Donny: Well, nothing now. I'm kind of a writer.
Outgoing Teacher: You have no job? (She did the head tilt again, and lowered her eyes, emphasizing a lack of respect)
Donny: Well, I just got out of the military. I retired.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhhh. Military? You are military man? (Her eyes got wide again)
Donny: I used to be.
Outgoing Teacher: You kill people? (She was excited at the thought that I was a great hunter)
Donny: No, I'm a lover not a fighter.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. (Her excited eyes became bored eyes as she assumed I probably had a paperwork job in the military. She nodded in the direction of the shy teacher) You like my friend?
Donny: She's very nice.
Outgoing Teacher: Ok, take her back to USA with you.
Donny: Hahaha. No I can’t do that.
Outgoing Teacher: Why not? You don’t like black women?
Donny: No. I mean, I love black women.
Outgoing Teacher: You have black woman before?
Donny: Yes, hundreds of them.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhh. (Her eyes got wide again at the knowledge that I was desirable amongst black women) So why you don’t marry them?
Donny: I didn’t like them too much. They were too loud, obnoxious, drank all the grape drink in my fridge and didn’t replace it, typical shit. But yeah….my girlfriend right now is black. (No she wasn’t.)
Outgoing Teacher: Girlfriend?
Donny: Someone I am sleeping with. (I considered using a hand signal for sex, but instead just hoped she understood.)
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. She is going to be your wife?
Donny: Maybe. (I shrugged) I don’t know.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm.... How many wives you want?
Donny: Just one.
Outgoing Teacher: Really? Why is this?
Donny: More wives means more money, and more problems.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmm. How many children you want?
Donny: Ummmm. (I looked down as I thought about it for a second)
Outgoing Teacher: 15? 30? more?
Donny: Nooooo. No, no. Just 4.
Outgoing Teacher: That’s it!!???
Donny: Yep, just four.
Outgoing Teacher: Why only 4?
Donny: Because I want to give them a good life.
Outgoing Teacher: Why you cant have more for good life?
Donny: Why are there so many orphans in Africa?
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm. (She nodded and almost pondered the plight of Africa for a few seconds)
Donny: How many of these children have two good parents?
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm. (She thought about it for one second and was over it.) Okay, so why don’t you take my friend with you?
Donny: She can’t get through customs.
Outgoing Teacher: Customs?
Donny: It’s not my custom to marry someone from another country. (I wasn’t in the mood to explain our Homeland Security)
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. But you like black girls?
Donny: Yes, but they are born in the USA.
Outgoing Teacher: Ahhhhhh. What if I was born in USA?
Donny: Then you might have a chance.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm. Ok, I go to teach now. Take my friend with you.
Outgoing Teacher: Where are you from?
Donny: USA
Outgoing Teacher: Where in USA?
Donny: California.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhhh. (Every time she said Ohh or Hmm, she tilted her head back slowly) You have wives?
Donny: No.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. How many children you have?
Donny: None that I’m aware of. (She was unphased by that statement)
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh.... Why you don’t have children?
Donny: Because I pull out.
Outgoing Teacher: What is this?
Donny: Never mind. I just don’t want children yet.
Outgoing Teacher: Really? (She tilted her head to the side) How old you are?
Donny: Guess.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmmm. 25?
Donny: Nope. 30.
Outgoing Teacher: 30!? Why you don’t have wife? Why no children?
Donny: I don’t want one yet.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. (She crossed her arms and nodded with a smirk, as if she was proud of herself for figuring me out) You like men?
Donny: Hahahahahahaha. No, no, no. I like women.
Outgoing Teacher: Then why you don’t have wife.
Donny: I can’t afford one.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhh. What you do for work?
Donny: Well, nothing now. I'm kind of a writer.
Outgoing Teacher: You have no job? (She did the head tilt again, and lowered her eyes, emphasizing a lack of respect)
Donny: Well, I just got out of the military. I retired.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhhh. Military? You are military man? (Her eyes got wide again)
Donny: I used to be.
Outgoing Teacher: You kill people? (She was excited at the thought that I was a great hunter)
Donny: No, I'm a lover not a fighter.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. (Her excited eyes became bored eyes as she assumed I probably had a paperwork job in the military. She nodded in the direction of the shy teacher) You like my friend?
Donny: She's very nice.
Outgoing Teacher: Ok, take her back to USA with you.
Donny: Hahaha. No I can’t do that.
Outgoing Teacher: Why not? You don’t like black women?
Donny: No. I mean, I love black women.
Outgoing Teacher: You have black woman before?
Donny: Yes, hundreds of them.
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhhh. (Her eyes got wide again at the knowledge that I was desirable amongst black women) So why you don’t marry them?
Donny: I didn’t like them too much. They were too loud, obnoxious, drank all the grape drink in my fridge and didn’t replace it, typical shit. But yeah….my girlfriend right now is black. (No she wasn’t.)
Outgoing Teacher: Girlfriend?
Donny: Someone I am sleeping with. (I considered using a hand signal for sex, but instead just hoped she understood.)
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. She is going to be your wife?
Donny: Maybe. (I shrugged) I don’t know.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm.... How many wives you want?
Donny: Just one.
Outgoing Teacher: Really? Why is this?
Donny: More wives means more money, and more problems.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmm. How many children you want?
Donny: Ummmm. (I looked down as I thought about it for a second)
Outgoing Teacher: 15? 30? more?
Donny: Nooooo. No, no. Just 4.
Outgoing Teacher: That’s it!!???
Donny: Yep, just four.
Outgoing Teacher: Why only 4?
Donny: Because I want to give them a good life.
Outgoing Teacher: Why you cant have more for good life?
Donny: Why are there so many orphans in Africa?
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm. (She nodded and almost pondered the plight of Africa for a few seconds)
Donny: How many of these children have two good parents?
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm. (She thought about it for one second and was over it.) Okay, so why don’t you take my friend with you?
Donny: She can’t get through customs.
Outgoing Teacher: Customs?
Donny: It’s not my custom to marry someone from another country. (I wasn’t in the mood to explain our Homeland Security)
Outgoing Teacher: Ohhhh. But you like black girls?
Donny: Yes, but they are born in the USA.
Outgoing Teacher: Ahhhhhh. What if I was born in USA?
Donny: Then you might have a chance.
Outgoing Teacher: Hmmmmm. Ok, I go to teach now. Take my friend with you.